Exorcist Shortage Hits New York: Exorcisms Available via Phone
Imagine that one day you wake up and your levitating, projectile vomiting and speaking a foreign language while your head is rotating 360 degrees. You don't need to go to WebMD to look up the symptoms. You're most likely possessed by a demon or evil entity.
It's scary to think that the next time you suddenly find yourself under some sort of demonic possession there may be no one that is qualified nearby to help.
An article from the New York Post tells us that Catholic leaders met to strategize how they can recruit new members of the church who are qualified to force demons to exit a human vessel. Many elderly leaders of the church believe that demonic activity is on the rise in New York City in are afraid to retire.
Luckily, our prayers have been answered. According to Reuters, over 200 exorcists in training met in Rome and are now qualified to expel demons using the power of Christ. We can't forget that this is 2018 and practices must keep up with modern technology. The Vatican has even approved exorcisms over the phone.
Soon you'll be able to dial a demon right out of you.